I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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