it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
