from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
