he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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