I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
