We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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