Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
