just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
do herpes really smell.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
