Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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