Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She bit a glass in half.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
