Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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