he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
