I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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