in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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