she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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