Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
