He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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