party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
