Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Terrible idea I love it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
