And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
