The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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