Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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