More tranny stories later!
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize