She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
