please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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