I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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