apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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