On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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