you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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