i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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