im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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