he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
