I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
