My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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