they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
