we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
