i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
