and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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