It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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