last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
