it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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