I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
