Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize