Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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