Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
