Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
