i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
