we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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