so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
