GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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