I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
