It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
