I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
