I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
