My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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