your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
