i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
