I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
