oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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