My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
