Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
