So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
