I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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