So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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