She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
