$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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