I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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