he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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