The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
