Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
