her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
