The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize